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030702 - ! - Kidstv @ www.panda-sonic.has.it *****!!!!
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What is the leading cause of death among lesbians?
Furballs.
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A young American girl, on her very first trip to Paris, decided to test
the French male's fabled expertise in the art of love-making.

On her first date, she asked him what exactly he intended to do with her.

"First," he replied, "I weel remove ze dress. Zen, I will carry you to
ze bed. And zen," he added triumphantly, "I will kiss ze navel."

"Big deal !!!" she said. "I've had my navel kissed before hundreds of times."

"Ahhhhh, but of course!" shrugged the Frenchman. "But... from ze inside?"
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A lawyer dies in a car accident on his 40th birthday and finds himself
greeted at the Pearly Gates by a brass band. Saint Peter runs over,
shakes his hand and says... "Congratulations!!!"
"Congratulations for what?" asks the lawyer.
"Congratulations for what?!?!?" says Saint Peter. "We're celebrating
the fact that you lived to be 160 years old."
"But that's not true," says the lawyer. "I only lived to be forty."
"That's impossible," says Saint Peter. "We've added up your time sheets."
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What's the difference between spit and swallow?
Forty pounds of pressure on the back of her head.
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The elderly priest, speaking to the younger priest, said, "It was a good idea to replace the first four pews with plush bucket theatre seats. It worked. The front of the church fills first."

The young priest nodded.

The old one said, "And you told me a little more beat to the music would bring young people back to church, so I supported you when you brought in that rock 'n roll gospel choir. We are packed to the balcony."

"Thank you, Father," said the young priest.

"I am pleased you are open to the new ideas of youth." "Well", said the
elderly priest, "I'm afraid you've gone too far with the drive-thru Confessional."

"But Father," said the young priest. "My confessions have nearly doubled since I began that!"

"I know, my son," said the old man. "But that flashing neon sign, 'Toot 'n Tell or Go to Hell", can't stay on the church roof!"
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This woman was having an affair during the day while her husband was at
work. One day she was in bed with her boyfriend and she heard her
husband's car pull in the driveway. She yelled at the boyfriend "Hurry!
Grab your clothes and jump out the wind my husband is home early!" The
boyfriend looked out the window and said, "I can't jump out the window!
It's raining like hell out there!"
She said, "If my husband catches us in here, he will kill both of us!"
So the boyfriend grabs his clothes and jumps out the window! When he
landed outside he was in the middle of a "running Marathon" so he
started running along beside the others only he was still in the nude,
carrying his clothes on his arm.
One of the runners asked him, "Do you always run in the nude?" He
answered, while gasping for air, "Oh yes, It feels so free having the
air blow over your skin while you are running." The other runner then
asked the nude man, "Do you always run carrying your clothes on your
arm?"
The nuddy answered breathlessly, "Oh yes, that way I can get dressed at
the end of the run and get in my car to go home!" The runner then
asked, "Do you always wear a condom when you run?" The nuddy answered,
"Only if it's raining."
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I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
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030702 - ! - Kidstv @ www.panda-sonic.has.it ************
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