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030514 !!!! 23 new pix @ www.solstikkan.has.it !!!!
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Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?
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Five Germans in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Italian border. The Italian Customs Officer stops them and tells them
"It'sa illegala to putta 5 people in a Quattro"
"Vot do you mean it's illegal?" asks the German driver.
"Quattro meansa four" replies the Italian official.
"Quattro is just ze name of ze automobile" the Germans retort unbelievingly. Look at ze papers: "ze car is designed to karry 5 persons."
"You canta pulla thata one on me!" replies the Italian customs officer. Quattro meansa four. You have fivea people ina your car and you are thereforea breaking the law."
The German driver replies angrily, "You idiot! Call your zupervisor over. I vant to speak to someone viz more intelligence!"
"Sorry" responds the Italian officer, "He can'ta come. He'sa busy witha 2 guys in a Fiat Uno."
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If tennis players get tennis elbow, and squash players get squash
knees, what do gynecologists get?
Tunnel vision!
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A girl walked up to the information desk in her local hospital and said,
"I need to see the upturn, please."
"I think you mean the 'intern,' don't you?" asked the nurse on duty.
"Yes," said the girl. "I want to have a 'contamination."
"Don't you mean 'examination,'" the nurse questioned her again.
"Well I want to go to the 'fraternity ward,' anyway."
"I'm sure you mean the maternity ward."
To which the girl replied: "Upturn, intern; contamination, examination;
fraternity, maternity... What's the difference? All I know is I,
haven't demonstrated in two months, and I think I'm stagnant."
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A Hunter walking through the jungle found a huge dead dinosaur with a pigmy standing beside it. Amazed, he asked: "Did you kill that?".
The pigmy said "Yes."
The hunter asked "How could a little bloke like you kill a huge beast like that?"
The pigmy: "I killed it with my club."
The astonished hunter asked: "How big is your club?"
The pigmy replied: "There's about 60 of us."
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A doctor, an engineer, a rabbi and a lawyer were debating what was the world's first profession.

The Doctor said "It must have been a doctor. Who else could have helped
with the world's first surgery of taking a rib from Adam to create Eve,
the first woman?

"No," said the rabbi. "It must have been a rabbi, since the Lord needed
someone to help preach his message to Adam and the world.

"Wait," said the engineer. "The world was created in 6 days from nothing. Do you know what a master engineering feat that must have been to create the whole world into an orgnanized civilized place from utter chaos?"

"Yes, but who created the chaos?" asked the lawyer...
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Joe was not a very romantic person, and furthermore he was rather stupid.
But he wanted to impress his wife, so he took her out for an anniversary dinner and watched the couples around them, following their leads.

He observed the couple next to him. The man lifted a sugar shaker towards his wifes cup and said, "Sugar, sugar?"
Joe thought this was great and continued to listen around the dining room.
Another table over Joe observed the following.
A man spooned some honey out of a bowl for his wife and asked, "Honey, honey?"
Again Joe thought this was good stuff.

Finally, he cut off a piece of his meat, stared longingly into his young wifes eyes and said, "Ham, pig?"

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An old nun who was living in a convent next to a Brooklyn construction site noticed the coarse language of the workers and decided to spend some time with them to correct their ways. She decided she would take her lunch sit with the workers and talk with them. She put her sandwich in a brown bag and walked over to the spot where the men were eating.

She walked up to the group and with a big smile said: "Do you men know Jesus Christ?"

They shook their heads and looked at each other. One of the workers looked up into the steelwork and yelled "Anybody up there know Jesus Christ?"

One of the steelworkers asked why.

The worker yelled "His wife is here with his lunch".
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The doctor was surprised to find old Mr. Jones sitting on the bed holding up his middle finger and sticking out his tongue. He walked over to the nurse who was taking his vitals.

"Excuse me," said the doctor, "but why is Mr. Jones sitting like that?"

The nurse replied, "I told him that you were going to want to examine his sexual organs."
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A blonde decides to do something wild she hasn't done before, so she sets out to rent her first x-rated adult video. She goes to the video store and, after looking around for a while, selects a title that sounds very stimulating.

She drives home, lights some candles, slips into something comfortable,
and puts the tape in the VCR. To her disappointment though, there's nothing but static on the screen, so she calls the video store to complain.

"I just rented an adult movie from you and there's nothing on the tape, but static."

"Sorry about, that," replied the store clerk. "We've had problems with some of those tapes.

Which title did you rent?"

"It's called, 'Head Cleaner'."Replies the blonde"
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030514 !!!! 23 new pix @ www.solstikkan.has.it !!!!