030429 -!!!!- 23 new pix @ www.solstikkan.has.it -!!!
"Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married?"
Bert and Mabel were a week away from their wedding day. Bert was beginning to get major stirrings so he decided to chance his arm.
"Er, Mabel, as it is only a week to the big day, how's about a quick screw?" said Bert.

Mabel's answer as expected was, "No Bert, it's only 6 days to go, however you can have a look at your prize."

The next night Bert again pesters Mabel. Being an understanding sort, Mabel gives in and says, "It is still 5 days to go and as you've been a good fellow, I'll let you have a little feel of your prize."

It only makes matters worse for Bert and by the next night he can hardly contain himself.

Seeing his obvious predicament Mabel greets Bert and whispers in his ear, "I can see what your problem is but you've still got 4 days to go. I will however let you have a good sniff of your prize."

Not being bashful, Bert lifts Mabel's skirts and sniffs. After a minute
he comes up for air,

"Mabel, do you think it will keep 'til Saturday?!?"
Life's golden age is when the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and
too young to borrow the family car.
A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a Midwest town he planned to visit on his vacation. He wrote:"I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"

An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls.
I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill.
Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here,
The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
Did you hear about the rumor that Disneyland plans to promote a
bumper sticker reading, "DO A MOUSE A FAVOR: EAT A PUSSY!"?
A Blonde lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
A Sunday school teacher asked her class,
"What was Jesus' mother's name?"

One child answered, "Mary."

The teacher then asked, "Who knows what Jesus'father's name was?"

A little kid said, "The Verge."

Confused, the teacher asked, "Where did you get that?"

The kid said, "Well, you know they are always talking about
The Verge 'n' Mary."
It was the first day of school for the kindergarten class; as the teacher walked in the classroom, she noticed something was written on the chalkboard: . . . . "T TT1 A"

She looked at the children and said, "Who wrote this?"

Johnny raises his hand and says, "I did, teacher."

"Well, what does that mean, Johnny?" asked the teacher.

Johnny answers, "It means, 'To TheTeacher 1 Apple'," and with that, he gave the teacher an apple.

"Very good," says the teacher, "Thank you."

The next morning, the teacher walks in the classroom, and notices, once again, something written on the board. This time, the chalkboard reads:. . . "T TT1 O"

She asked the children, "Who wrote this?"
Then Mary answers, "I did, teacher."

The teacher says, "Well, Mary, what does that mean?"

Mary says, "It means, 'To TheTeacher 1 Orange'," and she gives the teacher an orange.

"Very nice, Mary, thank you", said the teacher.

The next morning, she walks in the classroom, and she noticed on the chalkboard. . . "F U C K 1 T"

Disappointed, the teacher exclaimed, "WHO WROTE THIS!!"

Then Pepito raises his hand and says, "I did, teacher."

Angrily, the teacher asks, "Well, what does this mean, Pepito?"

"It means, . . . . 'From Us Cuban Kids, 1 Tamal."
030429 -!!!!- 23 new pix @ www.solstikkan.has.it -!!!