===============================================================
030427 ! ! ! new video at www.panda-sonic.has.it ! ! !
=================================================================
The key to safe sex is in the palm of your hand!
=================================================================
The teacher in Johnny's school asked the class what their parents did for a living. One little girl said her father was a doctor, another said her mother was an engineer. When it was Little Johnny's turn, he stood up and said "My mom's a whore."
Naturally, after that remark, he got sent off to the principal's office.
Then, 15 minutes later, he returned. So the teacher asked "Did you tell the principal what you said in class?"
Johnny said "Yes" "Well, what did the principal say?"
"He said that every job is important in our economy, gave me an apple and asked for my phone number."
================================================================
One summer, a few years ago, a middle age French man named Jacques decided to vacation on the coast of Maine. While soaking up some sun on the beach, a very pretty girl caught his eye and his sexual desires.
He immediately got up, ran to her, grabbed her by the hand and brought her to his hotel room. There he had sex with her and then sent the young lady on her way. She immediately reported this to the police and Jacques was arrested.

On his court date the judge asked him if he understood the nature of the crime he committed against the young lady. Jacques looked at the judge with a bewildered look and said "Non!! Hi don't understand! Hin my country you grab de pretty girl, bring her to de hotel room, BOOM-BOOM, give hit to her den let her go! Hit's O.K.!!!"

"Sir", the judge said, in THIS country if you are to have sex with a lady, you must have her permission first, or it is considered rape. You must have her consent!"

After hearing this, Jacques turned around and mysteriously looked at the judge and exclaimed, "CUNSCENT!!! Hi got her cunscent!!! Hi got her cunscent on my fingers, cunscent on my mustache, hi got her cunscent
everywhere!!!
================================================================
A little old lady told Morris that all she ever wanted to have in life was to have four animals.

Morris, an animal lover himself , innocently asked, "Oh really, what kind of animals do you want?"

The little old lady said, "A mink on my back, a Jaguar in the garage,
a tiger in bed . . . and a jackass to pay for all of it."
=================================================================
A blonde woman strode angrily into the large store, slapped a package on the counter, and loudly expressed her dissatisfaction.
The clerk asked, "What's the problem? Wouldn't your cat eat them?"
The woman's eyes got very large, and she whispered,
"Do you mean to tell me that 'Pussy Treats' are for cats?"
======================================================================
A drunken Irishman is driving through the city of Dublin and his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over.
"So," says the cop to the driver, "where have you been?"
"I've been to the pub," slurs the drunk.
"Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few."
"I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.
"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms, "that a few miles back, your wife fell out of your car?"
"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the man. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."
================================================================
Your morning Chinese proverb:
If you want happiness for an hour -- take a nap.
If you want happiness for a day -- go fishing.
If you want happiness for a month -- get married.
If you want happiness for a year -- inherit a fortune.
If you want happiness for a lifetime -- help someone else.
================================================================
030427 ! ! ! new video at www.panda-sonic.has.it ! ! !
=================================================================