030424 - * - !! new pix @ www.solstikkan.has.it !!!!
"Sex is like going to the gas station.
Sometimes you get full service, and sometimes you have to go to self-serve."
A guy walks into a restaurant and orders soup. It takes a while before the soup arrives, and when it arrives - it is too hot. While waiting for the soup, the guy starts feeling he has to go to the bathroom.

`Now, while I'm in the bathroom, somebody might just come and eat the soup.' thinks the guy, ‘What can I do?'. Then he has this flash of insight,
and he pulls out a piece of paper and a pen and writes: `I spat into the soup!'.

After putting the sign right next to the soup, our clever guy runs joyfully to the bathroom. When he returns, he sees an addition in pencil underneath what he wrote: `Me too'.
Two gay men are beach walking, holding hands when a beautiful woman passes them. She's 5'10", 120 lbs, 38-24-36, wearing a string bikini with no tan lines.

The first gay man turns to his friend, sighs audibly, and in a breathless whisper says, "It's women like her that sometimes make me wish I was a lesbian."
A woman walked up to the bar and ordered a Guinness. As soon as she had taken her first sip of the heavenly nectar she was distressed to see a drunken, unkempt man sit down next to her.

"Say, honey-baby...I'd really like t'get into those pants o'yours."

Looking nonchalantly over her shoulder at him, she replied, "Thanks, but I've already got an ass-hole in there."
What's the difference between 'ohh' and 'ahh'?
About 4 inches.
One day a man comes home from work to find total mayhem at home. The kids were outside still in their pajamas playing in the mud and muck.
There were empty food boxes and wrappers all around.

As he proceeded into the house, he found an even bigger mess. Dishes on the counter, dog food spilled on the floor, a broken glass under the table, and a small pile of sand by the back door. The family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing, and a lamp had been knocked over.

He headed up the stairs, stepping over toys, to look for his wife. He was becoming worried that she may be ill, or that something had happened to her.

He found her in the bedroom, still in bed with her pajamas on, reading
a book. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went.

He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?".

She again smiled and answered, "You know everyday when you come home from work and ask me what I did today?".

"Yes.", was his reply.

She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it!".
030424 - * - !! new pix @ www.solstikkan.has.it !!!!