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030422 - * - !!! 20 new pix @ www.solstikkan.has.it !!!!
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What's the most important question to ask when you want to have safe sex?
What time will your husband get home?
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I pulled into a town I couldn't believe still existed in 2001. A dusty, dirt road, a little old wooden store that actually said "General Store", and that was it.

There was a little old man sitting in front of the store in a rocking chair. I said to him, "What do you folks do around here?"

He said, "We don't do nothin' but hunt n' f**k."

I said, "What do you hunt?"

He said, "Somethin' to f**k."
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Johnny was at his first day of school. The teacher advised the class to start the day with the pledge of allegiance, and instructed them to put their right hands over their hearts and repeat after him.

He looked around the room as he started the recitation, "I pledge allegiance to the flag..." When his eyes fell on Johnny, he noticed Johnny's hand over the right cheek of his buttocks.

"Johnny, I will not continue till you put you hand over your heart."

Johnny replied, "It is over my heart."

After several attempts to get Johnny to put his hand over his heart, the teacher asked, "Why do you think that is your heart?"

"Because every time my Grandma comes to visit, she picks me up, pats me here, and says, 'Bless your little heart,' and my Grandma wouldn't lie."
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Said the good little girl to the bad little girl "It's awfully hard to be good"

Said the bad little girl to the good little girl "It's got to be hard to be good"
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Paddy walks into a bar, with a huge pair of lumps in the front of his trousers. The barman says, "Hey Paddy, what are those lumps in your pants?"

Paddy replies "They're Grenades."

"Grenades!" shouts the barman. "What do you want grenades in your pants for?"

And Paddy replies "If Queer Murphy tries to feel me up again today, I'll blow his hand off!"
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Mrs. Grednik, who was a little on the chubby side, was at her weight-watchers meeting ."My husband insists I come to these meetings because he would rather screw a woman with a trim figure." she lamented to the woman next to her.

"Well," the lady replied, "what's wrong with that?"

"He likes to do it while I'm stuck at these damn meetings."
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The Pearly Gates...

Both women were new arrivals at the pearly gates and are comparing stories on how they had died.

First woman: "I froze to death."

Second woman: "You froze to death - how horrible."

First woman: "Well, it wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm and sleepy and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?"

Second woman: "I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But
instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV."

First woman: "So what happened?"

Second woman: "I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere, that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched and down to the basement. Then I went through every closet and che cked under every bed. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere. I finally became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died."

First woman: "Too bad you didn't look in the freezer....we'd both still be alive."
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030422 - * - !!! 20 new pix @ www.solstikkan.has.it !!!!
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