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030421 -!- 4 new pics at www.solstikkan.has.it !!!!
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In the cockpit of a very modern airplane, there is only one pilot and a dog. Everything is managed by a computer.
The pilot is only there to feed the dog ... and the dog is there to bite the pilot if he wants to touch the controls.
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The old Jewish man was walking on the beach with his only grandson, when a giant wave crashes on shore, sweeping the boy out to sea.
The man looks up to the heavens and says:

"Oh Lord, this is my only grandson. How can you take him away from me like this? My son will not understand. My daughter-in-law will die from grief."
Another wave comes by, and deposits the boy at the old man's feet.

The grandfather looks to the heavens again and says, "He had a hat!"
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A man finally gets his prescription for viagra. Eager to try it out, he takes one as soon as he gets home, and waits for his wife to come home from work, but in his excitement he forgets and leaves the package open on the table and his cockatiel eats all of them.

Seeing the results and panicking the man grabs the bird and stuffs him into the freezer to cool off. Unfortunately, his Viagra kicks in just as his wife comes home and it is hours later before he remembers the cockatiel.

He runs and looks in the freezer expecting the worst, only to find the
bird breathing heavily, drained with sweat and totally exhausted.
"What happened?" the man asks.
"You were in there for hours and yet you're not only alive but you're sweating like crazy?"
The cockatiel pants, "Man, have you ever tried to pry apart the legs on a frozen chicken?"
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During a Coffee Break, two men were talking: "My wife asked me to buy ORGANIC vegetables from the market garden." Replied the first man.

"So were you able to find some?" the second man asked.

"Well when I got to the market, I asked the gardener, 'These vegetables
are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?'."

"The gardener said 'No, you'll have to do that yourself.'."
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A few nights ago a few friends and I were in a bar, telling all the
polish jokes we knew; boy what a feast! Anyway, I ducked into the restroom to sprinkle the old porcelain.

While I was in there, this big guy came in and said to me, "Hey pal, I'm Polish and I don't like you telling all those Polish jokes!"

So I said, "Well, they're not against you, pal, just against anyone in Poland."

"My mother is in Poland!" He screams, and pulls out a razor.

Boy was I scared! I was sure he would have killed me if he had found a place to plug it in.
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Woman's Wine Quote:
"Men are like fine wine. They all start out like rapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something with which you'd like to have dinner with."

Men's Counter-Quote:
"Women are like fine wine. They all start out resh, fruity and intoxicating to the mind and then turn full-bodied with age until they go all sour and vinegary and give you a headache."
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How does a Jewish wife cheat on her husband?
She has a headache with the milkman.
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What's a Jewish wife's idea of a perfect house?
6,000 sq. ft., no kitchen, no bedroom.
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A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.

"My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"

"Yes officer, I'm just fine!" the blonde chirped.
"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.

"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. "I was driving
along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me.
So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the
left and there was ANOTHER tree! I swerved to the right and there was
another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ..."

"Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off. "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth".
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"Your honor, " explained the young man, "I'd like to get married,please."
"All right, what is your age?"
"I'm 22, sir."
"And the age of the bride?"
"She's 15, sir."
"15? That's too young! Marrying you would be against the law!"
"I see, " said the young man. "Could you try explaining that to the fella next to her with the shotgun?"
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030421 -!- 4 new pics at www.solstikkan.has.it !!!!
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