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030416 -*-*- new pics @ www.solstikkan.has.it !!!!!!!
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The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up
in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.
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There was a guy who was struggling to decide what to wear to go to a fancy costume party. Then he had a bright idea.
When the host answered the door, he found the guy standing there with no shirt and no socks on.
"What the hell are you supposed to be?" asked the host.
"A premature ejaculation," said the man. "I just came in my pants!
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During the wedding reception in the family mansion, the bride's Grandfather slipped her a $500 bill which she concealed in her glove, since he told her to keep it for "mad money". By tradition, the couple spent their first night together in the historic house. The bride's Grandmother saw her sneaking down the stairs later that night and asked where she was going.
"I left my gloves in the library, Grand-MaMa and it's important that I have them."

"Oh you youngsters!" the Grandmother sighed. "You march yourself right back upstairs and grab hold of that thing with your bare hands just as I did your Grandfather's."
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Tech Support: "What does the screen say now.."
Person: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech Support: "Well?"
Person: "How do I know when it's ready?"
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A Jew, a Greek, and an Italian man all die in a plane crash. They are standing before the LORD, and the LORD tells them, "I am going to give you all one more chance. I am going to send you back to earth on one condition: that you will give up your bad habits."

They all say, "We will. We will. Please let us live again!"

The Italian agrees to give up eating compulsively.
The Jewish man promises not to think about money all the time.
And the Greek man vows not to constantly think about sex.

Suddenly they find themselves back on earth, walking down a street. Before they have a chance to say anything to each other about what just happened, the Italian man sees a restaurant and begins to drool. He starts running toward the restaurant when POOF! He disappears into a cloud of smoke.

Just then the Jewish man sees a dime on the street a couple of feet away. He steps forward, bends over to pick it up and POOF!
Both he and the Greek disappear.
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Men are like horoscopes.
They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.
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The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination was complete, he said, "Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me."

"Well, in plain English," the doctor replied, "you're just lazy."

"Okay," said the man. "Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife."
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A blonde gets an opportunity to fly to a nearby country. She has never been on an airplane anywhere and was very excited and tense. As soon as she boarded the plane, a Boeing747, she started jumping in excitement, running over seat to seat and starts shouting, "BOEING! BOEING!! BOEING!!!BO....."

She sort of forgets where she is, even the pilot in the cockpit hears the noise. Annoyed by the goings on, the Pilot comes out and shouts "BE SILENT!"

There was pin-drop silence everywhere and everybody is looking at the blonde and the angry Pilot. She stared at the pilot in silence for a moment, concentrated really hard, and all of a sudden started shouting,
"OEING! OEING! OEING! OE...."
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030416 -*-*- new pics @ www.solstikkan.has.it !!!!!!!
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