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030414 - ! - 23 new pix @ www.solstikkan.has.it !!!
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How do men sort their laundry?
"Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable"
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Peter and James have been friends for more than sixty years. One day Peter says to James, "Let's make a pact: whoever dies first will try to come back and tell the other what heaven's like."
They both agree, and none too soon because the next day James has a sudden heart attack and dies.

Six months later, just when Peter is giving up any hope of hearing from his friend, a voice wakes him up in the middle of the night.
"James, is that you?" Peter asks in amazement.
"Yes, it is," James answers.
"Well, tell me. What's it like?"
"You wouldn't believe it. All day long, all we do is eat and f**k. We
get up in the morning, eat breakfast and f**k. Then we eat lunch and
f**k until dinner. After dinner we f**k some more. We f**k until we
pass out, then we wake up and f**k some more," James explains.

"If that's heaven, I can't wait to die!" exclaims Peter.

"Who said anything about heaven?" a perplexed James replies.

"I'm in Nevada and I'm a rabbit!"
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An exhibitionist named Joe was preparing to board a flight to Atlanta.
As he approached the open door of the plane at the end of the jet way, a very attractive flight attendant was collecting boarding passes.
As she reached down toward Joe for his boarding pass, he opened his raincoat and exposed himself.
"I'm sorry sir" she said politely, "but you have to show your ticket, not your stub."
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Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and talking about their love lives.
One woman said, "I call my husband the dentist. Nobody can drill like he does."

The second woman giggled and confessed, "I call my husband the miner because of his incredible shaft."

The third woman quietly sipped her whiskey until her friend asked,
"Say, what do you call your husband?"

She frowned and said, "The postman."

"Why the postman?"

"Because he always delivers late, and half the time it's in the wrong box."
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What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
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Two Iranians meet in California. One starts to greet the other in Farsi,the language of their native country.
The other Iranian waved him away contemptuously and said, "We're in America now. Speak Spanish!"
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My wife and I split up because we had too much in common," said the solitary drinker to the bartender.
"Is that so?"
"Yeah we both liked to eat pussy!"
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A rich man and a poor man were sitting in a bar late one night. They were talking about different things and then the poor man asked the rich man what he bought his wife for her birthday. "I got her a brand new Mercedes Benz and a 24-karat diamond ring," says the rich man.

The poor man, a bit puzzled, asked, "Why the hell did you get her both?"

The rich man replied, "I got her both so if she doesn't like the ring, she can drive her new car back to the jeweler's to exchange it. So...What did YOU buy for YOUR wife?"

The poor man said, "I bought her a pair of flip-flops and a dildo."

Obviously confused, the rich man asked why he chose those items.

The poor man replied, "Because if she doesn't like the flip-flops, she can go f**k herself!"
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Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.

The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating
table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered,"

The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians. Everything
inside them is color-coded,"

The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best;
everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

The fourth surgeon chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers.
They always understand when you have a few parts left over at the
end and when the job takes longer than you said it would."

But the fifth surgeon, Dr. Morris Fishbein, shuts them all up when
he observes: "The French are the easiest to operate on. There's no
guts, no heart, no balls and no spine. Plus the head and ass are
interchangeable."
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030414 - ! - 23 new pix @ www.solstikkan.has.it !!!
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