030411 - ! - 23 new pix @ www.solstikkan.has.it !!
SEX: The only activity where you start at the top and work your way
to the bottom, while getting a raise.
A neighbor of mine was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to
see how he was and found him writing furiously. I told him
rabies could be cured and he didn't have to worry about a will.
He said, "Will, what will ? I'm making a list of people I'm
gonna bite."
And Moses looked upon the Lord and said: "We are your
chosen people and you want us to cut the tips off our WHAT?!"
A man asked his doctor if he thought he'd live to be a hundred.
The doctor asked the man, "Do you smoke or drink?"
"No," he replied, "I've never done either."
"Do you gamble, drive fast cars, and fool around with women?"
inquired the doctor.
"No, I've never done any of those things either."
"Well then," said the doctor, "Why do you want to live to be a hundred?"
What do you call a handcuffed man?
The Italian immigrant went to the doctor to complain that he wasn't sure how to make his new wife pregnant.

After struggling with language problems, the doctor simplified his
advice just stick your longest thing where your wife is hairiest.

Two months later, the Italian came back to complain that it didn't work.
"I've been sticking my nose in her armpit every night," he said, "and nothing's happened."
A little Gay man, Nathan, walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender says, "We don't serve Gays here."
The Gay man, Nathan says, "Please, I won't bother anyone."
Bartender says, "OK, but sit over there in the corner and don't say a
After a while, a large, grizzly man thunders in and proclaims, "I'm so
damn thirsty I could lick the sweat from the balls of a Brahma Bull!!!"
A small voice rings out from the corner of the bar,
Two older gentleman were talking and one said to the other, "You're having an anniversary soon, right?"
The other replied, "Yup, a big one... 20 years."
"Wow," said the other, "what are you going to get your wife for your anniversary?"
The other replied, "We're going on a trip to Australia."
"Wow, Australia, that's some gift!" said the other man. "That's going to be hard to beat. What are you going to do for your 25th anniversary?"

"Go back and get her."
It was George the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.

When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the
whole family there, who roundly and soundly congratulated him and sent
him on his way with a tidy gift envelope.

At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars.

The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing

At the fourth house, a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing
negligee met him at the door.
She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door (which she
closed behind him), and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she
blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced.
When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a
giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and
fresh-squeezed orange juice.

When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As
she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the
cup's bottom edge.
"All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the
dollar for?"
"Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be
your last day, and that we should do something special for you.
I asked him what to give you.

He said, 'F**k him. Give him a dollar.' The breakfast was my idea."
030411 - ! - 23 new pix @ www.solstikkan.has.it !!