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030409 -*-*- new video @ www.panda-sonic.has.it !!!!!
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Why do blondes put rulers on their foreheads?
They want to measure their intelligence.
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Both women were new arrivals at the pearly gates and are comparing stories on how they had died.

First woman: "I froze to death."

Second woman: "You froze to death - how horrible."

First woman: "Well, it wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm and sleepy and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?"

Second woman: "I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV."

First woman: "So what happened?"

Second woman: "I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere, that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched and down to the basement. Then I went through every closet and che cked under every bed. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere. I finally became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died."

First woman: "Too bad you didn't look in the freezer....we'd both still be alive."
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This ol' gal goes into the pharmacy and looks around each isle carefully. Meanwhile the pharmacist is noticing her, so he goes over and asks,"Miss,can I help you find something?"

"Well", she stammers,"Do you have any petroleum jelly with teflon in it?"

He gives her a funny look and shakes his head no then proceeds to ask, "Why?".

"Well, the next time me and the old man fuck, I wanna make sure the meat don't stick like last time."
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Movie Rating System Explained:
G: Nobody gets the girl.
PG: The Good Guy Gets The Girl.
R: The Bad Guy Gets The Girl.
X: Everybody Gets The Girl.
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A guy is walking down the street and enters a clock and watch shop. While looking around, he notices a drop dead gorgeous female clerk behind the counter. He walks up to the counter where she is standing, unzips his pants, flops his dick out and places it on the counter.

"What are you doing, Sir?" she asks. "This is a clock shop."

He replied, "I know it is and I would like 2 hands and a face put on this!"
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A golfer whose car broke down flagged down a passing bus and got aboard. He sat down on the bus with his pockets bulging with golf balls next to a little old lady.

The little old lady kept looking quizzically at him and his bulging
pockets. Finally, after many such glances from her he said, "It's golf balls,"

She quickly replied, "Does it hurt as bad as tennis elbow?"
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Two southern girls from Georgia were sitting on their front porch one evening. One girl had just arrived back from New York and she was telling her girlfriend about some of the sites she had seen in the big city.

In a heavy southern drawl, she says, "You know, they have women up there who have sex with other women."

In a whispered voice, her friend replies, "Oh, my! What do they call them?"

"They call them lesbians.

"And there's men who have sex with other men," says the women. "They call them homosexuals." Then, she pauses, lowers her voice even more and says, "And, they have these men up there that will put their face in a woman's privates and kiss and lick all around..."

"Do tell!" gasps her friend, "What do they call them?"

"Heck if I know, I just patted him on the head and called him Precious."
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Why do blonds keep empty beer bottles in the fridge?
For those who don't drink
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030409 -*-*- new video @ www.panda-sonic.has.it !!!!!