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030407 - ! - ! 23 new pix @ www.solstikkan.has.it - !
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My grandmother's ninety. She's dating. He's ninety three.
They're very happy. They never argue. They can't hear each other.
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A woman was chatting with her next-door neighbor. "I feel really good today. I started out this morning with an act of unselfish generosity.
I gave a five dollar bill to a bum."

"You gave a bum five whole dollars? That's a lot of money to just give away. What did you husband say about it?"

"Oh, he thought it was the proper thing to do. He said, 'Thanks.'"
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A Texan and his bride ask the hotel desk clerk for a room, telling him they just got married that morning.

"Congratulations!" says the clerk. Looking at the cowboy, he asks, "Would you like the bridal then?"

"Naw, thanks," says the cowboy. "I reckon I'll just hold her by the ears 'til she gets the hang of it."
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A guy walks out of a house of ill repute and sits down on a park bench, deep in thought.

"Man!" he says to himself. "What a business! They've got it.
They sell it. And they've still got it!"
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"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."

"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I didn't go shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!"

"I know all that."

"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"

"Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."
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When a blonde finally got married her husband bought her one of those fancy, electric coffee makers. It had all the latest gadgets on it.
Salesman Riley carefully explained how everything worked,how to plug it
in, set the timer, go back to bed, "...and upon rising the coffee is
ready!"

A few weeks later the blonde wife was back in the store and Riley asked
her how she liked the coffee maker.

"Wonderful!" she replied, "However, there's one thing I don't
understand. Why do I have to go to bed every time I want to make a pot of coffee?"
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A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly after this started, she told him she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a large sum of money and asked her to go to Germany and have the baby there.

"But how will I let you know the baby is born?" she asked.

He replied "Just send me a postcard and write "sauerkraut" on the back"

Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to Germany.

Six months went by and then one day the doctor's wife called him at
the office and explained "Dear, you recieved a very strange post card in the mail today and I dont understand what it means."

The doctor said "Just wait until I get home and read it and I will explain it to you". Later that evening the doctor came home, read the postcard, fell to the floor with a heart attack and died
So the wife picked up the card and read "Sauerkraut,
Sauerkraut, Sauerkraut. Sauerkraut - Two with wieners, two without".
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While in the playground with his friend, Little Johnny noticed that Jimmy was wearing a brand new, shiny watch. "Did you get that for your birthday?" asked Little Johnny. "Nope." replied Jimmy. "Well, did you get it for Christmas then?". Again Jimmy says "Nope." "You didn't steal it, did you?" asks Little Johnny. "No," said Jimmy. "I went into Mom and Dad's bedroom the other night when they were 'doing the nasty'. Dad gave me his watch to get rid of me.
Little Johnny was extremely impressed with this idea, and extremely jealous of Jimmy's new watch. He vowed to get one for himself. That night, he waited outside his parents' bedroom until he heard the unmistakable noises of lovemaking. Just then, he swung the door wide open and boldly strode into the bedroom. His father, caught in mid stroke, turned and said angrily. "What do you want now?" "I wanna watch," Johnny replied.
Without missing a stroke, his father said, "Fine. Stand in the corner and watch, but keep quiet."
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030407 - ! - ! 23 new pix @ www.solstikkan.has.it - !
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