===============================================================
030312 -- !! new today pix at www.solstikkan.has.it !!
================================================================
The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.
================================================================
Little Johnny went to the store with his grandmother. On the way home, he looked through her bags to see what she had purchased.

In one package, Little Johnny found some panty hose and he began to sound out the words "Queen Size."

He then turned to his grandmother and exclaimed, "Look Grandma, you wear the same size as our bed!"
================================================================
A man called his doctor, and said "doc", you gotta come over here quick, you see when my wife got out of the shower, and bent over to pick up her towel a mouse ran straight up her ass.

The doctor said," okay just hold a piece of cheese just outside of her ass until i get over there".

The doctor drove up, got out of his car, and went inside to see the man holding a big fish up to her ass instead of cheese.

The doctor said,"what are you doing, I said a piece of cheese".
The man said,"I did what you said, and it almost worked, but when the mouse started to come out, the cat chased it right back up there!
================================================================
Two guys are walking across the street when they run into a mutual friend, and they comment on how prosperous-looking he is. It turns out he has every reason to be: he's got an eighty-foot yacht, a beautiful wife, a private jet plane, and a million dollars in the bank.

You can imagine their surprise when they run into him two weeks later, dressed in rags and shuffling along dejectedly.

They press the sad story out of him. Apparently, he loaned the yacht to
a friend who ran it aground and wrecked it, and he no insurance.
So? say the two guys. It's only a boat.

Yes, but I didn't have any insurance on the jet either, and it was destroyed in a fire at the airstrip

Hey, take heart, say his friends, at least you've still got your lovely wife and bank balance.

"Not so fast fellas", says the poor guy, "my wife ditched me for another guy and her lawyer took me forevery cent I had.

I'll tell you, if I've learned one thing from all this, here's what it is,
'If it flies, floats, or f**ks, lease it.'"
=================================================================
Joe and Moe went outside to take a leak and Joe confessed, "I wish I had one like my cousin Junior. He needs four fingers to hold his."

Moe looked over and pointed out, "But you're holding yours with four fingers."

"I know," said Joe with a sigh, "but I'm peeing on three of them."
===============================================================
The explanation of Albert Einstein's E=MC2 relativity theory.
Sit with a naked, pretty girl for an hour and it seems like a minute.
Sit on a hot stove for a minute and it seems like an hour.
That's RELATIVITY.
================================================================
What is the difference between women and computers?
A women will not take a 3.25 inch floppy.
================================================================
"I'm worried that I'm losing my wife's love," the husband told the counselor.

"Has she started to neglect you?"

"Not at all," the dejected man replied. "She meets me at the door with a cold drink and a warm kiss. My shirts are always ironed, she's a great cook, the house is always neat, she keeps the kids out of my hair. She lets me choose the television shows we watch and she never objects to kinky sex or says she has a headache."

"So what's the problem?"

"Maybe I'm just being too sensitive," the husband ventured, but at night, when she thinks I'm sleeping, she puts her lips close to my ear and whispers...

'Die! you son of a bitch, Die !!'
===============================================================
030312 -- !! new today pix at www.solstikkan.has.it !!
================================================================