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030228 -- !! 23 new pix @ www.solstikkan.has.it !!
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Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet
Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
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Life with Men is like a deck of cards...
You need a Heart to love them;
A Diamond to marry them;
A Club to beat them;
& A Spade to bury the bastards.
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A seventeen-year-old girl goes to see her mom and tells her that she has missed her period for two months.

Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit.
The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.

Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!!"

The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later a brand new Ferrari stops at their house, a mature and distinguished man, with grey hair and impeccably dressed in a very expensive suit steps out of it and enters the house. He sits in the living room with the father, the mother and the girl, and tells them:

"Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. However, I can't marry her because of my personal family situation, but I'll take charge. If a girl is born I will bequeath her 3 stores, 2 townhouses, a beach villa and a $1,000,000 bank account. If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories, and a $1,000,000 bank account. If it is twins, a factory and $500,000 each. However, if there is a miscarriage..."

At this point, the father, who had remained silent all this time, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him: "You'll f**k her again!!!"
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What grows in michael jackson's backyard?
A kinder-garden
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Little Cindie was out with her Grandmother when they came across a couple of dogs mating on the sidewalk.

"What are they doing, Grandma?" asked the little girl.

The grandmother was embarrassed, so she said, "The dog on top has hurt his paw, and the one underneath is carrying him to the doctor."

They're just like people, aren't they Grandma?" said the little one.

"How do you mean?" asked the Grandma.

"Offer someone a helping hand," said Cindie, "and they f**k you every time!"
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A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her.

She jumped up and slapped him silly.

He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were
my wife. You look exactly like her."

"Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable asshole!" she screamed.

"Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."
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There were two gay guys living together. One of them lacked chest hair
and it seemed to become a real problem for him. So, one day he decided to
visit the doctor to see why he had no chest hair and if there was anything
he could do about it.

Well, the doctor said there was nothing wrong with the guy, and really the
only thing he could do to try and stimulate hair growth was to smother
Vaseline all over his chest daily. The guy was elated. He went home and
immediately smothered his chest in Vaseline.

When his partner came home and jumped into bed with him, he felt the
Vaseline and asked, "What in the hell are you doing?"

"The doctor said if I put Vaseline on my chest I might be able to grow
some hair"

"You idiot," said his partner, "Think about it. If that were true you'd
have a pony tail coming out of your arse by now"
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030228 -- !! 23 new pix @ www.solstikkan.has.it !!
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