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030215 -- !! new daily pix @ www.solstikkan.has.it !!
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Mothers of teens know why animals eat their young.
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What did the doctor say to the nervous patient who was about to have a circumsicion done?
"It won't be long now....!!"
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A man finally gets his prescription for Viagra.
Anxious to try it out, he takes one as soon as he gets home, and waits for his wife to come home from work, but, in his excitement he forgets and leaves the package open on the table and his cockatiel eats all of them.
Seeing the results and panicking the man grabs the bird and stuffs him into the freezer to cool off.

Unfortunately, his Viagra kicks in just as his wife comes home and it is hours later before he remembers the cockatiel. He runs and looks in the freezer expecting the worst, only to find the bird breathing heavily, drained with sweat and totally exhausted.

"What happened?" the man asks, "You were in there for hours and yet you're not only alive but you're sweating like crazy?"

The cockatiel pants: "Man, have you ever tried to pry the legs apart on a frozen chicken?"
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A man is lying in bed in a Catholic hospital with an oxygen mask over his mouth. A young auxiliary nurse appears to sponge his face and hands.

"Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "Are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed the young nurse replies, "I don't know, I'm only here to wash your face and hands."

He struggles again to ask, "Nurse, Are my testicles black?"

Again the nurse replies, "I can't tell. I'm only here to wash your face and hands."

The ward sister was passing and saw the man getting a little distraught so marched over to inquire what was wrong.
"Sister," he mumbled, "Are my testicles black?"

Being a nurse of longstanding, the sister was undaunted. She whipped back the bedclothes, pulled down his pajama trousers, moved
his penis out of the way, had a right good look, pulled up the pyjamas,
replaced the bedclothes and announced, "Nothing wrong with them!!!"
At this the man pulled off his oxygen mask and asked again,
"Are my test results back???
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Men are like ... pillows
Eventually, even the best ones get soft and lumpy.
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A young Italian couple get married but since they are very poor, instead of a honeymoon, they have to spend the night at the girl's mother's house.

When they arrive, the mother is in the kitchen cooking up a storm for their dinner that night. The girl says: "Momma, I'ma gonna helpa you with all this cooking." Momma replied: "No, thisa you wedding day. You just go upstairs witha you new husband and havea some fun." So the newlyweds went upstairs together.

When they got to the bedroom the young man removed his shirt and his chest was very hairy. The girl runs downstairs and tells her mother: "Momma, Momma, my new husband. He'sa gotta hair black hair all over hisa chest.

And the mother says: "That'sa fine. You go upa stairs and havea fun now." So she went back up.

Next he removed his pants and she saw that he had very hairy legs so she ran downstairs again shouting: "Momma, Momma, my new husband he'sa gotta lotsa black hair all over hisa legs. The mother replied:"That'sa fine.
You justa go upa anda havea fun." So she goes up again.

This time he removes his socks and she sees that one of his feet is deformed and he only has half of it. She runs downstairs and yells: "Momma, Momma, my new husband, he'sa gotta foot and a half." And Momma replies: That'sa great! You fatha only hada six inches."
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Men are like ... soap operas
They're fun to watch, but don't believe everything you hear.
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This drunk says to the bartender, "I want a woman!" So the bartender gave him directions to a brothel. The drunk was so messed up that he accidentally walked into the wrong door, a Foot Doctor's office.

The receptionist at the counter asks, "Can I help you?"
"Yes, I want some service", states the drunk. The lady sends him to the other room and tells him to put it on the table. The drunk goes in and places his dick on the examination table. When the doctor comes in and notices the man's penis on the table she says, "That's not a foot!" The drunk replies, "Give it time, lady, give it time."
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Rachel and Lena two blondes were sitting down to their usual morning cup of coffee listening to the weather report coming over the radio.
"There will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared" the weather report said.
"You must park your cars on the odd numbered side of the streets."
Rachel says "Jeez, okay," and gets up from her coffee.

The next day they're sitting down with their morning cups of coffee and the weather forecast is "There will be 2 to 4 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the even numbered side of the streets."
Again Rachel says "Jeez, okay," and gets up from her coffee.

Two days later, again they're sitting down with their cups of coffee and the weather forecast is "There will be 6 to 8 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared.
You must park your cars on the..."and then the power goes out and Rachel doesn't get the rest of the instructions.
She turns to Lena and says "Jeez, what am I going to do now, Lena?"
And Lena replies "Aw, Rachel, just leave the car in the garage today."
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030215 -- !! new daily pix @ www.solstikkan.has.it !!
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