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030212 - ! - ! see smoke video at www.panda-sonic.has.it !!!!
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Why is sex with your wife like a Store 24?
There's not much variety, but what else is open at 3:00 in the morning?
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It was a hot day in Iowa. Helga hung the wash out to dry, put a roast in the oven, then went down the street to pick up some dry cleaning.

"Gootness, it's hot," she mused to herself as she walked down Main Street. She passed by a tavern and thought, "Vy nodt?" so she walked in and took a seat at the bar. The bartender came up and asked her what she would like to drink.

"Ya know," Helga said, "it is so hot I tink I'll have myself zee cold beer."

The bartender asked, "Anheuser Busch?"

Helga blushed and replied, "Vell fine, tanks, und how's yer pecker?"
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Did you hear about the Amish Flu?
There are only two symptoms. First you get a little hoarse, then you get a little buggy.
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The wife appeared at the breakfast table in curlers and a worn bathrobe.
The husband looked up from his newspaper and said, "Why can't you look like you did when we were first married?"
"How can I?" she snapped back. "I'm not pregnant!"
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Old man Morris was in the hospital. Every time the young nurse came in, she talked to him like a little child. She would say in a patronizing tone of voice, "And how are we doing this morning?" One day, Morris decided to get back at the annoying nurse.

He had received apple juice with his breakfast. Since he had been given a urine specimin bottle to fill, you know where the juice went.

The nurse came in and picked up the bottle. She looked at it and said, "It seems we are a little cloudy today..." At this, Morris snatched the bottle out of her hand, popped off the top, and drank it down, saying, ..."Well, I'll run it through again, and maybe I can filter it better for you this time."

The little nurse fainted !
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A very large woman walks into a department store and asks a salesman, "Do you have anything I could fit into?"

"Well," the man says, "I think I could fit you into that elevator."
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A woman goes to her doctor, complaining that her husband is 300% impotent.

The doctor says, "I'm not sure I understand what you mean."

She says, "Well, the first 100% you can imagine. In addition, he burned
his tongue and broke his finger."
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How can you tell if you have a cheap doctor?
He takes Friday off to play miniature golf.
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During her annual checkup, a well-built lady was asked to disrobe and climb onto the examining table.

"Doctor," she replied shyly, "I just can't undress in front of you."

"That's all right," said the physician, "I'll flick off the lights. You get undressed and tell me when you're through."

In a few moments, her voice rang out in the darkness, "Doctor, I've undressed. What should I do with my clothes?"

"Your clothes?" answered the doctor.

"Put them over here, on top of mine!"
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Why are brunettes so proud of their hair?
It matches their moustache.
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The other day, Mike was seeing his shrink, and he asked Mike what he looked for in a woman.

Naturally Mike replied, "Big tits."

He said, "No, I meant for a serious relationship."

Mike replied,, "Oooh, OK, seriously Bigggg TITS."

"No, no, no. I mean what do you look for in the one woman you want to spend the rest of your life with?"

The shrink looked at me kind of worried as I just sat there on his couch laughing until my gut hurt.

"Spend the rest of my life with one woman?" Mike replied, "Forget it, No woman's tits are that big."
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030212 - ! - ! see smoke video at www.panda-sonic.has.it !!!!
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