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030210 - !! - Guess who come 3rd @ www.solstikkan.has.it !!
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"If you could wag your penis the same way a dog wags his tail,it would
add a whole new meaning to "I'm so happy to see you!""
-- Andy Pierson --
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Joe's wife likes to sing. She decided to join the church choir. From time to time she would practice while she was in the kitchen preparing dinner. Whenever she would start in on a song, Joe would head outside to the porch.

His wife, with hurt feelings, said, "What's the matter, Joe? Don't you like my singing?"

Joe replied, "Honey, I love your singing, but I just want to make sure the neighbors know I'm not beating you."
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A man and his wife go to the site of their honeymoon for their 25th anniversary. As the couple is reflecting on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asks the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"

The husband replies, "All I wanted to do was screw your brains out and suck your breasts dry."

"What are you thinking now?" the wife asks as she undresses.

The husband quickly replies: "It looks like I did a pretty good job."
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There is a story about a popular young rabbi, who on Sabbath eve announces to the congregation that he will not renew his contract and is moving on to a larger congregation that will pay him more.

There is a hush. No one wants him to leave.

Epstein, who owns several car dealerships, stands up and announces, "If the Rabbi stays, I'll provide him with a new sedan every year, and his lovely wife with a mini van, to transport their children!"

The congregation sighs, and applauds. Goldstein, the entrepreneur and investor stands and says, "If the Rabbi stays, I'll double his salary, and establish a foundation to guarantee the college education of his children!!"

More sighs and applause. Old Mrs. Goldfarb, aged 86, stands and announces, "If the Rabbi stays, ....I offer SEX!!"

There is a hush. The Rabbi, blushing, asks, "Mrs. Goldfarb, whatever possessed you to say that?"

Mrs. Goldfarb answers, "I just asked Mr. Goldfarb what we could
contribute to make the Rabbi stay. Mr. Goldfarb said, 'Screw the Rabbi.'"
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A flying saucer landed at a gas station on a lonely country road. The two space aliens inside seemed completely unconcerned about detection; in fact, the letters "UFO" were emblazoned in big, bold letters on one side of their shiny craft.

As the station owner stood and gawked in silence, paralyzed with shock, his young blond attendant nonchalantly filled up the tank and waved to the two aliens as they took off.

"Do you realize what just happened?" the station owner finally uttered.

"Yeah," said the blond attendant. "So?"

"Didn't you see the space aliens in that vehicle?!"

"Yeah," repeated the blonde attendant. "So?"

"Didn't you see the letters 'UFO' on the side of that vehicle?!"

"Yeah," repeated the blonde attendant. "So?"

"Don't you know what 'UFO' means?!"

The blonde attendant rolled his eyes. "Good grief, boss! I've been working here for six years. Of course I know what 'UFO' means 'Unleaded Fuel Only.'"
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A lawyer walks into a bar and sits down next to a drunk who is closely examining something held in his fingers. The lawyer watches the drunk for a while till he finally gets curious enough to ask what it is.

"Well," said the drunk, "it looks like plastic and feels like rubber."

"Let me have it," said the lawyer. Taking it, he began to roll it between his thumb and forefinger, examining it closely. "Yes," he finally said, "it does look like plastic and feel like rubber, but I don't know what it is. Where did you get it?"
"From my nose," the drunk replied.
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030210 - !! - Guess who come 3rd @ www.solstikkan.has.it !!
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