030203 --- The year of the RAM @ www.solstikkan.has.it !!!
What do you call a Paki with a dot in the middle of her forehead?
A push start!
For three years, the young attorney had been taking his brief vacations
at this country inn. The last time he'd finally managed an affair with the
innkeeper's daughter. Looking forward to an exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the inn, then stopped short.
There sat his lover with an infant on her lap!

"Helen, why didn't you write when you learned you were pregnant?" he cried. "I would have rushed up here, we could have gotten married, and the baby would have my name!"

"Well," she said, "when my folks found out about my condition, we sat up all night talkin' and talkin' and decided it would be better to have
a bastard in the family than a lawyer."
At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends. "The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sing, Entertain. And stay home at night!"

An old granny overheard and spoke up, "Girl, if that's all you want, get a TV!"
An old lady had always wanted to travel abroad. Now that she was getting on in years, she thought she would really like to do so before she died.

But until now, she'd never even been out of the country. So she began by going in person to the Passport Office and asking how long it would take to have one issued.

"You must take the loyalty oath first," responded the passport clerk.
"Raise your right hand, please."

The old gal raised her right hand.

"Do you swear to defend the Constitution of the United States against all its enemies, domestic or foreign?" was the first question.

The little old lady's face paled and her voice trembled as she asked in
a small voice, "Uhhh... all by myself?"
A blonde woman came screaming into the local police station shouting, "I've been graped! I've been graped!"

The policeman on duty stared and said, "Madam, do you mean you've been raped?"

"No," she said, "there was a bunch of them!"
One afternoon a little girl excitedly approached her mother and announced that she had learned where babies come from at school that day. Amused, her mother replied "Really, sweetie? Why don't you tell me all about it?"

The little girl explained, "Well... OK... the Mommy and Daddy take off all of their clothes and the Daddy's thing sort of stands up, and the Mommy puts it in her mouth, and then it sort of explodes, and that's where babies come from."

Her Mom shook her head, leaned over to meet her daughter eye to eye and said in a confidential tone, "Oh, honey, that's sweet, but that's not where babies come from...

That's where jewelry comes from."
030203 --- The year of the RAM @ www.solstikkan.has.it !!!