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030130 --- !! New today pix at www.solstikkan.has.it !!
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Most men would respect a woman's mind more if it bounced gently as she
walked.
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A person needs only two tools. WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape.
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The elderly priest, speaking to the younger priest, said, "It was a good idea to replace the first four pews with plush bucket theater seats. It
worked like a charm. The front of the church fills first.

The young priest nodded, and the old priest continued, "And you told men a little more beat to the music would bring young people back to church, so I supported you when you brought in that rock 'n roll gospel choir. We are packed to the balcony."

"Thank you, Father," answered the young priest. "I am pleased that you are open to the new ideas of youth."

"Well," said the elderly priest, "I'm afraid you've gone too far with the drive-thru confessional."
"But, Father," protested the young priest, "my confessions have nearly doubled since I began that!"

"I know, son," replied the elderly priest, "but that flashing neon sign, 'Toot 'n Tell or Go To Hell' can't stay on the church roof."
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"But my elderly aunt was considered a highly respectable spinster!" the society matron protested. "Can't you find SOME way to cover up the shocking fact that she died in bed while being simultaneously serviced by two paid studs?"

"You just leave it to me, Mrs. Van Horn," soothed the police officer, "I'll just put it in my report that she died at the stroke of two."
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My neighbor, a primary school teacher, asked one of her pupils, an adopted child, how he felt about his mother's pregnancy.

"Wonderful," the student replied, "and this is her first baby from scratch!"
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A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn.
She rolled the dice and she landed on "Science & Nature."
Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name,
can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
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Why don't Polish gays like condoms?
They keep slipping off their tongue.
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030130 --- !! New today pix at www.solstikkan.has.it !!
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