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030128 - !!! new pix at www.solstikkan.has.it !!!!
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For every person with a spark of genius, there are a hundred with ignition trouble.
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I got married," said the first tavern regular, "so that I could get laid 3 or 4 times a week."
The other regular replied, "that's strange; cuz that's the reason why I got divorced!"
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After booking my 80-year-old grandmother on a flight from Florida to Nevada, I called the airline to go over her special needs. The representative listened patiently as I requested a wheelchair and an attendant for my mother because of her arthritis and impaired vision to the point of near blindness.

My apprehension lightened a bit when the woman assured me that everything would be taken care of. I thanked her profusely.

"Oh, you're welcome," she replied. I was about to hang up when she cheerfully asked, ..."And will your grandmother need a rental car?"
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Doctor, doctor, I feel like a bridge.
What's come over you?
Two cars and a bus!
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new clips at www.panda-sonic.has.it
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Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a dog.
Lie down on the couch and I'll examine you.
I can't. I'm not allowed on the furniture.
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What do Michael Jackson and Wal-Mart have in common?
They both have little boys pants half off!
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Two lifelong friends had a running argument. The black friend would argue that God was black, and the white friend would disagree and say that God was white.

One day, they decided to go fishing. On the way back, they were still arguing about whether or not God was black or white. Before they knew it, they where in an accident, and they found themselves in heaven. When they got there, St. Peter met them at the Pearly gates. Again, the question was brought up, "Is God black or white?"

St. Peter told them to have a seat in the waiting room and God would come out and talk to them about it.

While they were waiting, they continued to argue whether God was black or white. Then they heard some footsteps coming. They turned around as the door swung open and in stepped in God in His grandest toga.

They looked to Him expectantly, waiting for His answer to their long running argument.

He smiled at them and said, "Hola muchachos!"
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Discoveries

Man discovered weapons, invented hunting.
Woman discovered hunting, invented furs.

Man discovered colors, invented painting.
Woman discovered painting, invented make-up.

Man discovered speech, invented conversation.
Woman discovered conversation, invented gossip.

Man discovered agriculture, invented food.
Woman discovered food, invented diet.

Man discovered friendship, invented love.
Woman discovered love, invented marriage.

Man discovered woman, invented sex.
Woman discovered sex, invented headache.

Man discovered trade, invented money.
Woman discovered money, and man was a complete mess after that.
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030128 - !!! new pix at www.solstikkan.has.it !!!!
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