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0301221 -- !! see daily pix @ www.solstikkan.has.it !!
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"Large cats can be dangerous, but a little pussy never hurt anyone."
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A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse's trainer meets him before the race and says, "All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, 'alllleee ooop!' really loudly in the horse's ear. Providing you do that, you'll be fine."

The jockey thinks the trainer is mad but promises to shout the command. The race begins and they approach the first hurdle. The jockey ignores the trainer's ridiculous advice and the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.

They carry on and approach the second hurdle. The jockey, somewhat embarrassed, whispers 'allleee ooop' in the horse's ear. The same thing happens; the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.

At the third hurdle, the jockey thinks, "It's no good, I'll have to do it," and yells, "Allleee Ooop!" really loudly. Sure enough, the horse sails over the jump with no problems. This continues for the rest of the race, but due to the earlier problems the horse only finishes third.

The trainer is fuming and asks the jockey what went wrong. The jockey replies, "Nothing is wrong with me, it's this bloody horse. What is he, deaf or something?"

The trainer replies, "Deaf? Deaf? He's not deaf, he's blind!"
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A young mother paying a visit to a doctor friend and his wife made no attempt to restrain her five-year-old son, who was ransacking an adjoining room.
But finally, an extra loud clatter of bottles did prompt her to say, I hope, doctor, you don't mind Johnny being in there.
No, said the doctor calmly, He'll be quiet when he gets to the poisons.
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!!! do not miss the shaking at www.panda-sonic.has.it !!
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Year after year Bubba's wife pleaded with him to take her fishing but he kept telling her she would not enjoy it. She, finally, wore him down, he consented, and early one morning they took off to the lake.

They had not been there very long when the fish began biting. Almost as fast as they cast, a fish would bite, and they reeled it in.

After catching their limit, Bubba said, "Verna Lou, sweet thang, I'm sorry. You've been good luck and I'm gonna bring you with me the next time. If you'll mark the spot where we caught all these fish, we'll go home."

On the way home, Bubba turned to Verna Lou and said, "Sweet thang, how did you mark the spot were all the fish are so next time I'll know?"

"Bubba, darlin', I put a big 'X' on the side of the boat right down closest to the water."

"Sweet thang, that's about the dumbest thing I ever seed you do. Don't you know that won't work? We may not get the same boat the next time!"
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Three small boys were bragging about their fathers. The first boasted that his dad owned a farm. The second said his dad owned a factory.
The third boy, a pastors son, replied: "That's nothin'. My dad owns hell."

"No way," another boy scoffed. "How can a man own hell?"

"Sure he can," the preacher's son said. "My mom told my grandma that them elders of our church gave it to him last night."
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What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A widow.
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A hillbilly was making his first visit to a hospital where his teenage son was about to have an operation.
Watching the doctor's every move, he asked, "What's that?"
The doctor explained, "This is an anesthetic. After he gets this he won't know a thing."
"Save your time, Doc," exclaimed the man. "He don't know nothing now."
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A guy goes to a travel agent and books a two-week cruise for himself and his girlfriend. A couple days before the cruise, the travel agent calls and says the cruise has been canceled, but he can get them on a three-day cruise instead.

The guy says "OK," and goes to the pharmacy to buy three Dramamine and three condoms.

Next day, the agent calls back and says he now can book a five-day
cruise. The guy says he'll take it.

He returns to the same pharmacy and buys two more Dramamine and two
more condoms.

The following day, the travel agent calls again and says he can now
book an eight-day cruise.

The guy says, "OK," and goes back to the drug store and asks for three
more Dramamine and three more condoms.

Finally, the pharmacist asks, "Look, if having sex makes you sick, how
come you keep doing it?"
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Why do men prefer blondes?
Men always like intellectual company.
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An elderly married couple scheduled their annual medical examination on the same day so that they could answer any questions the doctor might have concerning their partner.

After the husband's examination, the doctor then said to the elderly man, "You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to ask me?"

"In fact, I do," said the old man. "After I have sex with my wife the first time, I am usually hot and sweaty, and then, after I have sex with my wife the second time, I'm usually cold and chilly." The doctor said that he would examine the wife, and then report back to the man.

After examining the elderly lady, the doctor said: "Everything appears to be fine. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?"

The lady replied that she had no questions or concerns.

The doctor then asked: "Your husband had an unusual concern. He claims that he is usually hot and sweaty after having sex the first time with you, and then cold and chilly after the second time. Do you know why?"

"Oh that crazy old nut", she replied. "That's because the first time is usually in July and the second time is usually in December!"
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0301221 -- !! see daily pix @ www.solstikkan.has.it !!
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