030118 --- 22 new pix on www.solstikkan.has.it !!!!!!
I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the
A lady goes into a bar and sees a cowboy with his feet propped up on
the table. He has the biggest feet she has ever seen.
The woman asks the cowboy if it's true what is said about men with big
The cowboy says, "It sure is, why not come with me over to my place and
let me prove it to you?"
She figures why not, and so she spends the night with him.
The next morning she hands him a $100.00 bill.
Blushing, he stammers, "I'm very flattered, ain't nobody ever paid me
for my services before."
To this the woman replied, "Well, don't be. Take this money and buy
yourself some boots that fit!"
Doctor, doctor, my wooden leg is giving me a lot of pain.
My wife keeps hitting me over the head with it.
ALL SHOOK UP--A blind queer in a hot dog factory!
The Italian says, "When I've a finished a makina da love withah my girlfriend, I go down and gently tickle de back of her knees, she floats ah 6 inches above a da bed in ecstasy."
The Frenchman replies, "Zat is noting, when Ah've finished making ze love with ze girlfriend, Ah kiss all ze waydown her body and zen Ah lick zasoles of her feet wiz mah tongue and she floats 12 inches above ze bed in pure ecstasy."
The redneck says, "That ain't nothing buddy. When I've finished doin it to the ole lady, I git out of bed, walks over to the winder and wipe my pecker on the curtains. She hits the freakin ceiling!"
Then there was the young married woman who drove 50 miles just to get 6 inches away from home.
Two kids playing in a lane found a donkey who had died with a hard on.
Being the mischievous kind of boys, they cut off the donkey's dick and began brandishing it in the air. Just then a police officer on his bicycle came up the lane, and the boys not wanting to be caught with it tossed it over the wall of the Nunnery.
Sister Agnes and Sister Mary taking their afternoon stroll found the dick in the bushes.
"Oh sweet Jesus," says Sister Agnes.
"What's wrong?" asks Sister Mary.
"You've gone as white as a sheet."
"It's those dirty protestant bastards," Sister Agnes replies.
"They have murdered Father O'Toole!"
Judge: You are charged with throwing your mother-in-law out of your
Defendant: I did it without thinking, your Honor.
Judge: That's no excuse! Don't you see how dangerous it might have been
for anyone passing at the time?
One day little Johnny's teacher was teaching the class about agriculture. To help with this, she was showing pictures of farm equipment. She puts up the first picture, "What is this a picture of class?" she asks.
Little Suzy puts up her hand and Johnny sticks up his hand. Of course, the teacher just knows that Johnny has something dirty in mind and picks Suzy. "What is this Suzy?".
"Its a rake".
"Very good, now can anyone tell me what this is?" she asks and points at the next picture. Johnny's hand shoots up and, little Anne politely puts up her hand, and once again the teacher ignores little Johnny.
"That's a pitchfork" says little Suzy.
"Very good, now can anyone tell me what this is?" The teacher asks once more. Dead silence, only one student has their hand up, and of course its little Johnny. Seeming as though no one else was volunteering, the teacher asked Johnny. "OK Johnny, what is this?".
All of a sudden Johnny realizes he doesn't know the answer. "UH, UH, its a shovel, yeah, it's a shovel."
"No Johnny, this isn't a shovel, this is a hoe".
"What?!?! My sister's a hoe and she doesn't look nutin' like that!
A certain virginal and shy college freshman was lucky to have a roommate who was considerably more experienced.
When the bashful boy broke down and explained his predicament, his roommate was quick to offer to set him up with a blonde who'd made the rounds of the campus. Just take this bimbo out to dinner and a show, and then let nature take its course, he explained reassuringly.
This girl knows what the score is, and she's even a natural blonde.
The roommate arranged the date as promised.
The freshman was delighted by his cute, outgoing companion and they
spent the evening dining and dancing.
On the way home he parked his car in a dark lane, broke out in a cold sweat, and blurted out, "Gosh, I sure would love to have a little pussy."
"I would too," sighed the blonde, "Mine's the size of a goddamn milk pail."
What do you see when you look into a blonde's eyes?
The back of her head.
Little Johnny's next door neighbor had a baby. Unfortunately, the little
baby was born with no ears. When they arrived home from the hospital, the parents invited Little Johnny's family to come over and see their new baby.
Little Johnny's parents were very afraid their son would have a wise crack to say about the baby. So, Little Johnny's dad had a long talk with Little Johnny before going to the neighbors.
He said, "Now, son...that poor baby was born without any ears. I want you to be on your best behavior and not say one word about his ears, or I'm really going to spank your butt when we get back home."
"I promise not to mention his ears at all," said Little Johnny...At the
neighbor's home, Little Johnny leaned over the crib and touched the baby's hand. He looked at it's mother and said, "Oh, what a beautiful little baby!"
The mother, who had braced herself for Johnny's comment, was pleasantly surprised and said, "Thank you very much, Little Johnny."
He then said, "This baby has perfect little hands and perfect little feet.
Why, just look at his pretty little eyes! Did his doctor say he can see good?"
The mother said a bit bewildered, hesitantly replies "Why, yes ... his doctor said he has 20/20 vision, why do you ask?"
Little Johnny said, "Well, it's a good thing, cause he sure as shit can't
wear glasses "
030118 --- 22 new pix on www.solstikkan.has.it !!!!!!