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030107 -- !!! See 20 bicycles @ www.solstikkan.has.it !!!!
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Why are hurricanes normally named after women ?
When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them.
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The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, he's a doctor."

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher; she's dead."
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A kid had been fooling around with fireworks in his back yard. He ran in through the back door loudly proclaiming,
" Mom, Mom, I just stuck a Roman Candle up a ducks ass"
His mother, dismayed with this turn of phrase corrects the child.
"Rectum dear, rectum"
The boy responded, "Wrecked 'im? Nearly blew his fucking head off!"
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Why do women close their eyes during sex ?
They can't stand seeing a man have a good time.
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Two guys are driving around in a car. They see two dogs humping on the
side of the road.
One guy says "That really is the best way to have sex".
The other guy doubts his wife will go for it.
The first guy says "give her a couple of martinis to loosen her up".
The next day they run into each other. "How did it go?" the first guy asks.
"Not bad, but it took 8 martinis".
"EIGHT MARTINIS! What happened?"
"Well, after 2 she was feeling pretty frisky, but it took six more to get her out by the road.
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What do you call a blonde with 90% of her intelligence gone?
Divorced.
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A really sloppy drunk is draped over the bar.
The bartender tells him, "OK, you've had enough. I'm not going to serve you anymore, so get out of here and go home."

The drunk leaves the bar. Ten minutes later the drunk comes back in through the back door. The bartender tells him, "I told you to go home, I'm not serving you anything more, you've had enough, now go home."

The drunk leaves again. Ten minutes later the drunk comes back in through a
side door. Again, the bartender tells him, "Man, I told you, you're wasted.
I'm not serving you anymore, now go home, you've had enough."

Again, the drunk leaves. Fifteen minutes later the drunk comes back through another side door. The bartender says, "What the hell is the matter with you? I keep telling you, you've had enough already, and I'm not going to serve you anymore, now go home!"

The drunk looks up at the bartender and asks, "How many places do you work at?"
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030107 -- !!! See 20 bicycles @ www.solstikkan.has.it !!!!
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