===============================================================
030103 --- !!! new pix @ www.solstikkan.has.it !!!!
=================================================================
My wife came home from the doctor's the other day and said that he told her she couldn't make love. I've known this for years I want to know how he found out!
=================================================================
A farm worker was out checking fences after the storm in his 4 wheel drive
when he hit a pig.He gets his phone out and rings the farm office for advice,
"boss"he says "I,ve hit this pig and it's stuck in the bullbar and its still alive,but it's kicking and squealing so much there is no way I can
get it free"

"Ok" says the farmer "if you look under the back seat you will find a
rifle,put it up to the pigs head and shoot it,then when it goes limp you
will be able to get it out of the bullbars and throw it in the bushes"

About 40 minutes later the farm worker rings up again and says,"I found the
gun and did what you said boss,I shot the pig in the head and when it stopped wriggling I managed to get it out of the bull bars no problem but I
still can't go back to work."

"Why not" asks the farmer "what the hells the problem now."

"Well it's his motorbike boss,the blue light and the topbox are jammed under the wheel arch"
================================================================
A man took a young woman to an X-rated movie, purchased some refreshments and showed his date to her seat.

Soon after the onscreen action started, she put her hand on the man's lap. Looking over at him, she remarked: "I see this is getting you excited, too. But how come it's so cold?"

"Because you're jerking off my popsicle!" the man replied.
================================================================
What's the difference between getting caught by a speed camera, and going down on a woman ?
When you go down on a woman, you can actually see the cunt behind the bush.
=================================================================
A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde escape a burning building by climbing to the roof. The Firemen are on the street below, holding a blanket for Them to jump into.

The firemen yell to the Brunette, "Jump! Jump! It's your only chance to
survive!" The Brunette jumps and SWISH!
The firemen yank the blanket away...the Brunette slams into the sidewalk like a tomato.

"C'mon! Jump! You gotta jump!' say the firemen to the Redhead.
"Oh no! You're gonna pull the blanket away!" says the Redhead.
"No! It's Brunettes we can't stand! We're OK with Redheads!"
"OK" says the Redhead, and she jumps. SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away, and the lady is flattened on the pavement like a pancake.

Finally, the Blonde steps to the edge of the roof. Again, the firemen yell "Jump! You have to jump!"
"No way! You're just gonna pull the blanket away!" yelled the Blonde.

"No! Really! You have to jump! We won't pull the blanket away!"

"Look," the Blonde says, "nothing you say is gonna convince me that you're not gonna pull the blanket away! So what I want you to do is put the blanket down, and back away from it . . ."
=================================================================
Why do blonde woman have bruises around their belly buttons?
Blonde men aren't so smart either
=================================================================
Goldie, a recently widowed Jewish lady, was sitting on a Florida beach near
Venice. She looked up and noticed that an elderly gentleman had walked up,
placed his blanket on the sand nearby and began reading a book.
Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with him. "Hello, sir,"
how are you?

"Fine, thank you," he responded, and turned back to his book.

"I love the beach. Do you come here often?" she asked.

"First time since my wife passed away last year," he replied.

"Do you live around here?" she asked.

"Yes," he answered, continuing to read.

Goldie persisted. "Do you like pussycats?"

With that, he threw his book down, jumped off his blanket onto hers tore
off both their swimsuits, and gave her the most passionate ride of her life!

As the cloud of sand began to settle, Goldie gasped and asked the man,
"How did you know that was what I wanted?"

The man replied,
"How did you know my name was Katz?"
=================================================================
030103 --- !!! new pix @ www.solstikkan.has.it !!!!
=================================================================