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021231 --- !!! HAPPY NEW YEAR @ www.solstikkan.has.it !!!!!
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My wife gets more dirt out of a phone than she can out of a vacuum cleaner!
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This guy is walking with his friend. He says to this friend, "I'm a walking economy."
The friend replies "How so?"
"My hair line is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation, and
both of these together are putting me into a deep depression!"
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A father and son went hunting together for the first time.
The father said, Stay here and be very QUIET. Ill be across the field.

A few minutes later, the father heard a blood curdling scream and ran back to his son.

What's wrong? the father asked. I told you to be quiet.
The son answered, Look, I was quiet when the snake slithered
across my feet. I was quiet when the bear breathed down my neck. But
when the two chipmunks crawled up my pant legs and said, Should we eat
them here or take them with us? I guess I just panicked....
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The spaceship crashed, but the two glowing Martians survived and set out to find a way home. They walked through the forests, through the fields, and finally came into the city.
They stopped at an intersection and began to shake and moan at the mere sight of a green light. Suddenly, the light turned from green to
yellow, and then to red.
Turning to his traveling companion, one Martian said disgustedly,
"Let's get out of here. If there's one thing I hate, it's a woman who's a tease."
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While vacationing in the hills of Alabama, the big city man discovered that he had no writing paper at all for his personal correspondence.

He went into the small town nearby and found only an old-fashioned country store. Behind the counter was a really nice looking young lass, quite
obviously a local farm girl.

He asked, "Do you keep stationery?"

"Well," she giggled, "I can...until I have an orgasm, then I just go plain wild and crazy!"
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A girl was a prostitute, but she didn't want her grandma to know.
One day, the police raided a whole group of prostitutes at a sex party in a hotel and the girl was among them. The police took them outside and had all the prostitutes line up along the driveway when suddenly,the
girl's grandma came by and saw her granddaughter. Grandma asked, "Why
are you standing in line here, dear?"
Not willing to let her grandmother know the truth, the girl told her
grandmother that the policemen were there passing out free oranges and
she was just lining up for some.
"Why, that's awfully nice of them. I think I'll get some for myself,"
And she proceeded to the back of the line. A policeman was going down
the line asking for information from all of the prostitutes.
When he got to Grandma, he was bewildered and exclaimed,
Wow, still going at it at your age? How do you do it?"
Grandma replied, "Oh, it's easy, dear. I just take my dentures out
and suck them dry."
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An American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large The yellowfin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.

The Mexican replied, "Only a little while."

The American then asked why didn't he stay out longer and catch more fish?

The Mexican said he had enough to support the family's immediate needs.

The American then asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"

The American fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my
children, take a siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village
each evening where I sip wine and play my guitar with my amigos.
I have a full and busy life, Senor."

The American scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You
should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat and with the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats,
eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats.
Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery.
You would control the product, processing and distribution.
You would need to leave this small fishing village and move to Mexico
City, then LA and eventually NYC where you will run your expanding
enterprise."

The Mexican fisherman asked, "But Senor, how long will this take?"

To which the American replied, "15 - 20 years."

"But what then, Senor?"

The American laughed and said, "That's the best part. When the time is right, you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions."

"Millions, Senor? Then what?"

The American said, "Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal
fishing village where you could sleep late, fish a little, play with
your kids, take a siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the
evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos."
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She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde:

she tripped over a cordless phone.

she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said
"concentrate."

she told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK".

at the bottom of the application where it says "sign here," she put
"Sagittarius."

she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.
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"Well," replies Fred, "truth be known, I'm just bored with f--kin' the same hole night after night after night. I guess I'm hankering' for a bit of variety."

Jim replied, "Well, if you want variety, why don't you just, you know, turn her over every now and again?"

Fred says, "What? And have a house full of kids?"
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021231 --- !!! HAPPY NEW YEAR @ www.solstikkan.has.it !!!!!
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